True State Craft

Don Quijote de la Mancha asked:


She’s 35, and she has stated to me that she got a divorce in 2007 because she claims that her ex-husband cheated on her and had a child with the woman with whom he was allegedly having the affair.

Anyhow, she has an average house, and she is an intelligent person. I’ve been up-front with her about everything in my life, to the point of being “painfully honest” about all of my shortcomings and faults. Yet, she is very, very secretive about many aspects of her life, and I just do not understand it completely.

We have been intimate, but we haven’t officially had sexual relations “in the traditional sense.” I stayed at her house a few weekends ago, and then last weekend, I stayed at her house for the entire weekend. During the last day, I went to take a shower, and she told me not to go into one of the rooms in her house. During the night, I could have sworn that I faintly heard movement in the house, and when I asked her that I wanted to see what was in the room, she said no. I could not understand what she could have been hiding for me to have not seen what was in this room, and it is still bothering me. She told me (no joke) in a facitious way that she “had a dead body in there” and that I would have to forfeit my handgun if I wanted to see what was inside the room (I have a Glock that I have a permit to carry, and she has handguns as well). Anyhow, I never did see the room, but I am very, very suspicious of her secretive behaviour, especially considering the occasional noises that I would hear – - it kind of sounded like someone was trying to walk around without trying to arouse suspicion.

Then, this weekend, she told me that she was going on a trip with her friends to a craft and gun show. However, she refused to tell me the names of her friends, like it was some kind of state secret or something! Then, she calls me up on my cell phone, and tells me that she had to return home because of an argument that errupted between 3 of these alleged anonymous “friends” of hers. I asked her where she was on the road (because we were going to meet at her house, which is an hour away from my house) and she would not tell me where she was! We still agreed to meet at her place, so I drove to her house about 2 hours later following our telephone conversation. I only wanted to know so that I could leave my house at the right time, which is over an hour away from her place. Anyhow, we met at her place and ate at an Applebees, went for a walk in a park, went back to her place, and I gave her a back massage in her bedroom. But she still would not tell me what was in that other bedroom, and I still had a creepy feeling about what was on the other side of that wall.

I realize that some privacy is ok, but I think that her behaviour regarding this secrecy and “off-limits areas” of her house is not normal, and I am very concerned, to say the least.

About 3 weeks ago, she told me that she had a background check done on me before we went out on our first date. We met on eharmony.

Why would a 35 year old woman who is seeking a relationship act so secretive if there wasn’t anything to hide? I am certain that I don’t know any of her friends, so why doesn’t she want me to know the names of her friends? Do you believe that I should stop seeing her? Do you think she’s fooling around with other people, or that this behaviour is just a little quirk? For me, this goes beyond something innocent, like having “a junk room” or a messy room that she is ashamed of – - it is as if she has something in that room that she wants to hide from me.

Your advice is sincerely appreciated.

Thanks.